I can never ever bring myself to being emotionally close with a girl.
Because I am a girl.
And I know what girls are capable of.
Girls can be the most unpredictable bitches.
And I say that with experience.
It’s a childhood memory.
I once had a friend who later turned out to be something else.
I can’t tell you what she did.
But I can tell you why she did what she did.
Because she wanted herself to be the object of attention,
Which she had neither the face nor the ability to become.
(Not according to me.
But according to a little bit of biology
and a hell lot of consumerism.)
Her wild rage for admiration always excited nothing more than universal contempt.
I certainly ain’t any great.
But she was worse.
(In all ways.)
And in the few moments of her occasional sanity when I would see her panicking,
I believed her to be worthy of my friendship.
But she just proved me wrong.
Her only hobbies were getting jealous
and showering empty superlatives upon herself.
She wasn’t necessarily evil.
Just a highly inappropriate amount of stupid,
Without having the slightest idea of it.
But it wasn’t completely her fault.
I still believe that she somewhere was a little girl who needed to be loved correctly.
But then, I tried it once and regretted it a lot.
Which I suppose everyone else did.
And after giving my due regards for her affectionate treatment,
I finally left with just one desire of never meeting her again.
Although it’s been years and I no longer hold any grudges,
Inspite of the shit she relentlessly showered at me.
And after writing this and clearing my heart out,
I have no more fucks left to give her.